It sounds so simple! Simply change the way you think then your mood will just simply change! While it is true that one’s thinking does in fact impact one’s emotions, the bottom line is changing how one feels takes a great deal of motivation to change and a great deal of work. There are in fact many theories of how people change the way they think. How one thinks does affect one’s feelings but “It just ain’t that simple McGee!”
There are many thories on how to build one’s self esteem. I am basing this article on “Building Self Esteem” not only on the literature but what I have experienced in helping people over the last 20 years, what I have experienced in my own 60 years of living and my personal work on my own “Self Esteem” . Most theorists target a person’s personal belief system and one’s self talk. It is so easy to say “change your belief system” or “Change the way you think” and you will feel great about yourself! Those beliefs do in fact sell many books! And theoretically that is the right idea. The problem is we have habituated to who we are today by our perception of what we have told ourselves about ourselves, our perception of what others have told us about ourselves, our perception of our failures, our perception of our accomplishments, and the list goes on and on and on. There are many many variables in defining an individual’s perception of Self Esteeem! 85 per cent of what we do is automatic! If you are used to sleeping on the right side of the bed, try to sleep on the opposite side and see how easy that is. Just try to change a simple habit! It just isn’t that easy. The more complex the habit the more difficult the change. The way we think about ourselves, the way we perceive who we are evolves into atomatic thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. Those individual automatic thoughts and beliefs influence our self esteem. To change the way a person habitually thinks about him self or herself is like trying to stop energy in motion. In reality, one’s thought process is in fact a form of energy in motion. It is like flying on a jet and the pilot changing course. To change the way one perceives oneself is changing the course of one’s automatic thoughts. Then maintaining that changed course takes practice practice and more practice.
The first step in building one’s esteem would be accepting who you are at this moment in time. That is a pretty tall order! Think about changing your course! Thinking about how your thoughts and behaviors are affecting your Self Esteem What is lowering your self- esteem? That would be the first step! Identify the automatic thoughts and beliefs that are affecting your esteem!
The second step would be reaching out for help! We all like to pretend everything is OK! And our defenses tell us we aren’t really that bad. The bottom line is have you tried to change and gave up because it was too frustrating?
So there is the thinking about change, then the reaching out for change, then there is acting on changing then there is the practicing the change and then there is maintaining the change.
There are different models of therapy that can help a person “Build Esteem” The treatment that I have found that works the best is Hypnotherapy. Hypnosis is not magic. People go into and out of hypnotic states all day long. When you wake up in the morning and are still not quite awake is a natual state of hypnosis, When you are into a book and lose track of time you are in a natural state of hypnosis. Hypnosis works because the person learns how to practice it daily. With repetition and practice you can change the way you think and build your self esteem. Being in a state of hypnosis is a way to make a suggestion for change directly to the unconscious mind. Again! Hypnosis is not being “Unconscious.” You are aware of your surroundings; you just become relaxed and learn how to change the way you think and learn how to build your self esteem.